We all know that breaking others down to build ourselves up isn’t the ‘right’ thing to do. We understand that doing so puts us in the “mean girl” category. And I’m all for the idea that helping to build others up shows your character, and in the long run, helps us to build ourselves up as well. I get it.
And so appears the ideal of being a “girls’ girl.” Of supporting our fellow sisters, no matter what. Of building them up. Of accepting them as they are. Of grasping the feminist views that are running rampant and holding them tight against our womanly bosoms and fighting for “women.”
Yesterday, after expressing my opinion that, “while there is no excuse, nor did she deserve to be assaulted or ridiculed, she did indeed dress to attract attention, which is EXACTLY what she got,” on an article posted in one of my favorite groups (see article: http://channel955.iheart.com/…/this-woman-got-bullied-for-…/), it was pointed out to me that I am NOT a girls’ girl.
*Take a moment to process this … I sure did.*
I. Am. Not. A. Girls’ Girl.
When I asked what, exactly, a “girls’ girl” is, I was given this link: http://brittanyherself.com/2015/03/18/the-girls-girl/ – Nothing else. No explanation. I read. I re-read. And then I thought about it. And ultimately, I realized three things:
1. We should all be “Girls’ Girls” to an extent;
2. I obviously didn’t take the same message from this that others have taken; and
3. I am perfectly happy with who I am and how I choose to “build others up.”
I don’t consider myself a “Mean girl” at all. (I suppose I could be wrong, but then … no, I am not a mean girl.) I am a very encouraging, compassionate person. I believe we all are worthy of love. That we should all learn to love ourselves. That we should empower each other towards success. That we should support our fellow women in the world.
I have apparently failed in my duty of throwing my personal beliefs, morals, and values out the damned window in the name of “building up” rather than “stomping on.” Because I am not a “feminist,” by definition. Because I don’t “believe” the way many other women do. Because I CHOOSE to follow my inner compass and have a low tolerance for bullshit. Because I refuse to cheer for the things I believe are wrong. I suppose, this removes me from the “girls’ girl” race. And you know what? I’m okay with that.
I’m not a perfect woman. I have my own insecurities to deal with. I have my own opinions. I am not pro-choice. I don’t think women should “empower” each other by encouraging slutty, mean, or self-gratifying behavior. I don’t believe that men and women are “equal in all things.” I don’t buy that women should dress however they want and act however they want to prove a point. I don’t believe that women are suddenly a superior gender. I suppose I have to say again, I believe I have an old soul. Maybe I’m on a road less traveled. But I am who I am and I don’t believe I am a bad person.
I do believe in letting women make their own decisions without my “opinion” blaring in their ears. I don’t believe in pointing fingers and shaming to soothe my own ego. I don’t believe in shunning others based upon our difference of opinion. I don’t believe every woman who has ever had, or will have, and abortion is a monster. I don’t believe that a woman who believes differently than me is any less of a woman than I am and I have no intention of saying otherwise.
I won’t stand back and take a verbal bashing just because my beliefs are different. I won’t be disrespected when I CHOOSE to be respectful. I won’t go for the idea that when the masses speak their opinion, it is “freedom of speech” but when the dissenting person speaks, it is “hate & intolerance.” The double standard is blaring and if there’s one thing I hate, it’s double standards.
I am not, nor will I ever be, THIS kind of Girls’ girl. But these things are not what I took from the explanation either. Basically, I read that being a mean girl isn’t cool anymore. That we should be lifting each other up, supporting the successes of our sisters. And you know what? I agree. But don’t come to me dressed like a whore, spouting your beliefs in a case of verbal vomit, expecting me to sit back and smile while telling you how damned amazing you are and that you are absolutely right. Because while I may love you, and while I may not bash you – I WILL tell you to put your clothes on, have some damned SELF-RESPECT, and that I disagree with you … RESPECTFULLY. If that is me being a mean girl, then give me the crown because I’m the damned QUEEN!